Calamity, Cricut and Change.............

As I signed in today, I realized it has been quite a while since I have updated my blog. I'm not really sure anybody reads it, or really cares what I have been up to, but for me having a blog is like therapy. I can post or say anything. Thank you to those who have given me so much encouragement and blessed me with your kind comments. That, too, is the best kind of lift. Here is a little insight as to my where abouts over the last 6 months.

So let me just say that over the past 6 months my life has had so many twists and turns, I make myself dizzy thinking back to the wild ride called life, I have been on. In early October one of my children was the victim of sexual abuse. It was a soul crushing experience to go through, especially the experience at the Children's justice center where she had a video taped interview with the detective and DCFS, and had a rape kit and physical exam done. This crime sent me into fits of depression, panic attacks, severe anxiety, crying spells, anger, blame, withdrawl from society (Shane accused me of becoming a hermit), and so many other emotions. Of course it was reported and investigated, and eventually an admission by the perpetrator led to a court conviction of felony sex abuse of a child. I began working with a therapist soon after, and also began to lean heavily on my Father in Heaven as well, looking for the spiritual lift I needed to make it through the days, and to be a functional Mother for my children. I was pretty good around the kids, but would often fall apart at night, or when they were all gone. I had days where I just cried. I sobbed for the pain my child had endured, guilt for being on a date when this happened, guilt for not giving her the skills to defend herself, anger that another person used her for their personal gratification,.......the list goes on and on. I prayed for strength, for peace, for help, for the panic attacks to go away, for the will to go on. I searched the scriptures, and was blessed to feel peace from my Savior. As difficult as it sounds, I was eventually able to get to a place of forgiveness for the young man. Today, my marriage is stronger than ever, my family is in a good place, and my relationship with God better than ever. Now, this change of heart did not happen over night, it was a long, difficult and all consuming process. I am so mindful today of my blessings, and I try to see all the good around me. I would never have asked for a trial like this, nor would I wish this upon another, but I have learned that we have trials for a reason, and can learn amazing lessons from them if we open our hearts and minds.


I might add that one constant through all this has been crafting and my cricut, of course.( I am going to be adding some pictures of fun things I have done the few month, just to prove I have not fallen off the face to the earth or the crafting world.) I could escape, of sorts, to a creative world full of wonder and possibilities, where the moon and stars were the limit to my creative possibilities. I've hosted 2 swarms since this incident, both with 12 projects each time, one per hour. My last swarm had 36 people attend, my best yet, and was very successful. I made 150 invitations for the Relief society Christmas party, Of course valentines for the kids school classes, started teaching gypsy classes at Robert's, and other fun things as well. My life as a hermit ended in early January, when I got a call from Christy Carson of Provo Craft offering me an opportunity to work as a cricut demonstrator. At the time of the incident, I had quit my job to be home with my kids, regardless of the fact that we couldn't make it without my income. I knew I had to be home. I was relying on pure faith that everything would work out, without a clue as to how it would. Christy changed that. At the time, I didn't realize how much I needed this job, not just financially, but emotionally. I have always loved to be with people, and I had become a recluse, a hermit, a hovering-over-protective-emotional-cricut-loving wreck. This job offer was a miracle, and I know it was not merely a coincidence, especially since I was not even looking to go back to work. Since January I have been happily working long days sharing my love of the cricut, crafting, and interacting with amazing people. (OMG, I actually get paid to make cute stuff and play with the cricut ALL DAY.) I am currently making a slight transition with the job. This transition has led to a higher wage, and fewer hours, ......another unbelievable blessing.

If you have made it this far, do me a favor. Hug your kids tonight, don't be afraid to have that difficult talk with them about appropriate and inappropriate touch. Empower them to stand up for themselves. Start today to develop the kind of relationship that they can talk to you about anything, anytime. And when they look at you with their big blue eyes and say, "Mamma, I lub you forever", thank God for the miracle you see right before your eyes. .............and maybe, give that cricut bug a hug too, and thank it for saving your sanity.

I'll try to post more often, so watch for it.
Lori